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Jack Handey Quote I hope life isn't a big joke, because I

10 Sourced Quotes. If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone. Jack Handey. To me clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad. Jack Handey.

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21 of the most memorable Deep Thoughts With Jack Handey quotes. "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" was a staple of comedy for many of us years ago, so in our ongoing quest to pay homage to the popular quotes of our favorite men, today we take a look back at a few of the greatest Jack Handey quotes. As an SNL veteran writer and comedic genius.

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Collection of sourced quotations from Deep Thoughts (1992) by Jack Handey. Share with your friends the best quotes from Deep Thoughts. Authors. Topics. Lists. Pictures. Resources. More about Jack Handey. Jack Handey - Deep Thoughts (1992) 7 Sourced Quotes. View all Jack Handey Quotes. Source; Report. To me clowns aren't funny. In fact, they.

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Best and Famous Jack Handey quotes. "I hope that after I die, people will say of me, That guy sure owed me a lot of money.". ( Jack Handey) "If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, 'God is crying.'. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, 'Probably because of something.

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106 books. view quotes. Feb 10, 2013 10:03PM. Jack Handy — 'It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.'.

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4. "Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing.

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Jack Handey. When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often. Jack Handey. When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, 'Hey, good job.'.

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Jack Handey Quotes. I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it. "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey, Berkley Publishing Group, 1992. Discover Jack Handey famous and rare quotes. Share funny quotes by Jack Handey and quotations about cars and waiting.

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Jack Handey. Jack Handey (born February 25, 1949) is an American humorist. He is best known for his "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey", a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts, and for his deadpan delivery. [1] Although many assume otherwise, [2] [3] Handey is a real person, not.

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Jack Handey. 1. Copy. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shame! Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered.

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A Little Background on Deep Thoughts. Saturday Night Live used to include these very short bits in between their comedy sketches.Originally, the Deep Thoughts bits featured the voice of Phil Hartman (RIP) in the introduction, then Jack Handey, REAL GUY, would read the surprising, iconic, and always hilarious statements. Relaxing music played over pastoral scenes, increasing the feeling that.

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And also, you're drunk." Jack Handey. "A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it." Jack Handey. "Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus's-flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth.

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Jack Handey Quotes about: Funny; Good; Night; Jack Handey. Jack Handeyis an American humorist. He is best known for his Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Although many people assume otherwise, Handey is a real person, not a pen name or.

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Jack Handey is a solidly built man of 64 with a swoop of graying hair; when he smiles, his teeth are blindingly white. We were sitting around the island in Handey's Santa Fe kitchen as his wife.

Best Jack Handy Quotes with images to share and download for free at

Jack Handey (born 25 February 1949) is an American humorist. He is most famous for his Deep Thoughts , a large corpus of surrealistic one-liner jokes. Deep Thoughts were first seen in small comedy magazine Army Man Comics edited by George Meyer and continued in National Lampoon in 1984 though gained popularity when they were read on Saturday.

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Jack Handey is an American humorist. He is best known for his Deep Thoughts, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Many people have the false impression that Jack Handey is not an actual person, but a character created by Saturday Night Live or a pen name used by National.